Making sense of the future after losing a job you loved (or one you hated too)
Unexpected career transitions can be disorienting— here are three reasons why
Losing a job is jarring. Of course, there is the financial stress from an income source being removed. But what is even more devastating is something that we often discount: the upheaval caused to our sense of certainty, and the emotional impact on our identity and confidence.
Forced career transitions throw our futures into flux. In seconds, we shift from security and relative stability into uncertainty. And these moments often happen when we’re already in the middle of another transition— or when we’re already short on time, energy or capacity for change. Thank you, Murphy’s Law!
Understanding this experience on a deeper level can help us navigate it more smoothly. In particular, it is worth exploring the interplay of grief, control and perspective with forced career change.
1. Grief
It’s in the name: job loss involves loss, and loss invokes grief. That’s true even when it’s a role that we disliked, dreamed of leaving, or were on the verge of quitting.
In part, the grief may result from a forced end to aspects of our role that we enjoyed. We likely leave behind meaningful relationships with people we care about, as well as access to networks, social events and opportunities that were attached to our positions.
But the largest impact of job loss is often on our identity. Our work is part of who we feel we are: our sense of self. We usually invest a great deal of our time, passion and energy into our jobs, which means that when the role ends, it’s as if a part of ourselves is separated and left behind in that position.
We grieve the loss of the future we envisioned, that particular career trajectory that we saw ourselves on, that will no longer materialise. This grief is especially pronounced when we loved our jobs, or were in them for a long time. On the other hand, we might not feel grief at all if the role was not attached to our identity or self-concept.
During periods of loss, it’s important to be loving, compassionate and patient with ourselves. Even if the grief feels unwarranted (like if we really hated our jobs), it’s still a valid, natural and normal response to transition.
2. Control
Losing a job and other major life changes are destabilising— especially when they arrive unexpectedly or prematurely.
Disruption shakes our sense of certainty. It’s like an earthquake: perhaps the ground was rumbling, and we knew there was a possibility of a seismic reaction. Or, maybe, in the midst of tranquillity, a rift suddenly appeared right underneath us. Such a sudden destabilisation affects us emotionally (and often, physically too).
During times of disruption, it can be helpful to seek out as many stabilising and familiar frameworks as possible. For example, implementing a routine; using somatic, grounding exercises like breathwork, meditation or yoga; or spending time with reliable friends and family.
To regain a sense of agency, we can focus on what it is that we can and cannot control. We have the most power over our own emotional state and our reactions. We have some influence through our actions. But largely, we don’t have much control over our futures. Accepting that reality can be difficult but is a necessary step in moving forwards.
3. Perspective
When choosing a major life change or experiencing one that is desirable, it’s easy to see it as an opportunity. When faced with a crisis, or an unwanted or forced transition, however, it’s harder to recognise its potential in the moment; this is especially true if we’re mired in grief, financial stress or lost in a sea of job applications. But after accepting and coming to terms with a job loss, we start to see new possibilities.
In hindsight, it appears that most major life transitions lead us to something better. We might invest time into latent passions and projects that we’d been wanting to cultivate for a while; perhaps we finally have the time to see if that side hustle can become our main income source; or maybe, we’ll discover new aspects of ourselves that we were previously unaware of. Ideally the end result is that we develop a new understanding of who we might become and the work that we might do. It’s a cliché but there’s truth in the adage, “When one door closes, another door opens.”
It’s much easier to give this advice to a friend who’s just lost their job, than to believe it yourself: during a bad storm, it can feel like a rainbow will never come out. Patience is key here: it can take time for a new opportunity to present itself. Often, it takes a lot longer than we’d like. We can draw encouragement by noticing subtle clues and shifts in our internal and external environment that suggest we’re moving in a more aligned direction.
Another challenge is how to articulate a job loss when other people ask what happened and what we’re going to do next. When a forced career transition feels like a major setback— like ‘the end of the world’— it seems inauthentic to frame the response as a compelling case for positive change. Eventually, we will construct a coherent narrative, a story of transformation rather than loss. But that takes time: we can’t tell the story when it’s still being written. That can be frustrating!
The only way through this is faith that a new opportunity will emerge. A helpful journaling exercise could be to recall past moments where rejection or unforeseen changes led to something better materialising.
It’s also important to slow down, embrace the newfound spaciousness and to the extent possible, let it be. When we have more space in our lives, we have a tendency to try to fill it right away with busy-ness. But if we do that, we limit the ability to experience serendipity, flow and chance. We become so busy running through the corridors of life, expecting closed doors on both sides, that we fail to look closely and notice the openings. The next opportunity may not appear immediately, but slowing down so that we can observe subtle shifts, gives us validation that we’re moving in the right direction.
Endings as Beginnings
Career transitions— especially those that happen unexpectedly— can be disorienting. Making the emotional shift from shock and grief to the hope of new possibilities takes time, effort and intention.
But forced change can prompt powerful moments of reinvention. Rather than viewing this time as a problem to be solved, consider it an invitation to explore, to listen to yourself more deeply and to create a future that aligns with who you truly are.
If you’re standing at the edge of the unknown, be reassured: You are not lost. You are in the process of finding what’s next. And that process, though it can be scary and uncomfortable, is often where the real transformation and growth begins.
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